Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Instead, I trudge along (admittedly, with pretty much everyone else I know) doing the same repetitive tasks that are never, ever, ever, ever, ever...... finished. Aaargh! This has always been the most frustrating part of being a stay at home Mom for me. Yes, I've taught part time the last few years, but I'm still pretty much a stay at home (homeschooling) Mom. For my sister, I know the hardest part was the isolation. This though was never my problem. I'm a natural introvert and was never troubled by that in the least.
No, for me, the main problem has always been this: no sense of accomplishment. Nothing's ever finished. I know, I know, I should be (and truly am) proud of raising my children, but let's face it.... that's a LONG term project and there's really never a "done" moment for that anyway (if grandparents are to be trusted on this issue).
When I taught at USC and was in grad school -- things got finished. Semesters ended, papers were completed, grades were submitted. When I worked as a legal secretary, documents got filed with the court, cases were settled, summer internships ended. As a professional church organist, weddings ended, services concluded with recessional hymns, & concerts ended with FINALES!
This mom gig though offers very little in the way of "done." I do the dishes and by the time I come back to the kitchen twenty minutes later, more have magically piled up in the sink. I vacuum the living room and minutes later, it's covered with legos and cat hair. I make french toast for breakfast and an hour later the troops are back, STARVING!!! Somehow though, it's the laundry that gets to me the most. It's relentless, vicious even! What, me exaggerate??
Anyway, knitting saves my sanity. I have my fair share of unfinished projects beckoning to me from the various corners of my office where I've stuffed them... but by and large --- if I start a sock, I finish a sock. I work and work, crafting my lovely sock and lo and behold there's a payoff. And it's a LASTING payoff. The little blanket (Pattern here) I made above makes me smile over the very "done-ness" of it every time I think of it. (And yes, I'm conveniently blocking from my mind the gorgeous linen hand towels I knit, only to have the girls' pet rats chew them to shreds.)
For the most part though, I can knit threads together and they stay knit. Nobody comes behind me and un-knits them for me to do over endless times. I have pretty little reminders of things I have "done" when my girls wear their hand knit hats and sweaters and socks and mittens. If I knit a bit more obsessively now than I have in the past, it's because knitting offers me a sense of satisfaction I miss.
The pile of laundry in my bathroom will never be diminished in any meaningful way. These little scamps I live with are apparently never going to forgo clothes... sigh. But, the little birthday socks I'm still knitting away on (hey, it's been busy), WILL eventually be done and that brings me peace.