Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Hawaiian Dreams

Isn't that a beautiful picture?  I've decided this is my new blogging goal.  What, you may ask does blogging have to do with Hawaii?  Apparently lots my friends!  Yesterday, an article on successful female bloggers crossed my screen and apparently these ladies are making out like bandits with all-expense paid tours of Hawaii, computer and photography equipment, and apparently enough free kitchen gadgets to open their own restaurants.

Well.... I've decided I want in on this action.  I'm a lousy photographer, I have a computer and at the moment have no interest in any gadget that will require me to spend more than 5 minutes on a meal standing in front of the microwave.  What can I say -- I'm busy -- read my last post.

But this Hawaii gig? -- I'm all over that.  If any luxury, beachfront resort out there would like to sponsor a trip for me and my family to Hawaii -- let me just say now for the record -- I will write you a super-rockin' review!  For my homeschooling friends I'll cover all the amazing educational opportunities such a trip would provide.  For my knitting readers, I'll wax poetic on the glories of knitting on the beach -- and never even whisper a hint about the difficulties of the sand + wool mix.  Let me see, who else reads this blog -- ah, for my Facebook/Twitter followers  -- I promise to rhapsodize at length on the glorious luxury of this 5 star Hawaiian resort and I'm sure a stress-relieving (all expense paid) day (or 4) at your spa will inspire pages of compliments and the highest of recommendations.  Yes -- I vow to advertise for you (and your 5 star resort -- or heck, I'd even settle for 3 or 4 star joint) like never before.  Just set me on that plane.

So, if any of you kindly readers have connections to such things -- hook me up! :)

Time Travel

Yes... time travel -- this is a skill I need to acquire... now.  The next two weeks are going to be frantic, crazy, impossible weeks as I rush to publish 10 novels and 2 essay compilation books for my students, while maintaining a teaching schedule of 7 classes a week, tutoring, driving, theater rehearsals, meal prep, basic laundry necessities (at least clean underwear - for God's sake) + all the sundry activities involved in homeschooling my two kiddos.  HELP!  No, I mean it.... help.  Time travel is the only help that would be effective.  Nobody can really do all of these things for me (though child care would come in awfully handy), so the only way I think I can accomplish everything is if I finish today and then through the magic of time travel, manage to go back and get a repeat of the day "Groundhog Day"-style. Or no, let's choose a different movie/literary analogy -- how about a Time Turner.  Yes, that would do it.  The only other option I can think of is cloning.  If I clone 3 or 4 of myself, I might have a chance.

Of course, to handle the stress, I'm forced to resort to the only thing that really can relax me...
I have no idea how that Berroco Sox yarn managed to jump on those needles.  Really... I'm not procrastinating... I have a plan --- time travel!  Seriously - how do you think I managed to write this blog post???  ...perhaps I know more than I let on :)