tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post8382299893984523237..comments2023-09-14T10:00:50.168-07:00Comments on Knitted Thoughts: Home Schooling and SocializationPinonKnitterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113895653080351359noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-75208654192917314522011-02-25T23:22:52.651-08:002011-02-25T23:22:52.651-08:00This is great! I love your line....
No, "soc...This is great! I love your line....<br /><br />No, "socialization" is something I rarely need to worry about for my kids at all -- BECAUSE I Homeschool. <br /><br />I hope you don't mind but I think this will be my response from now on when people ask me that ridiculous question!<br /><br />Thanks for sharing!<br /><br />~Rach in CAUnknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00921783051238554490noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-32096212336416695672011-02-22T23:48:59.836-08:002011-02-22T23:48:59.836-08:00Hi Lisa -- Sorry to hear about your daughter's...Hi Lisa -- Sorry to hear about your daughter's bad experience, but it sounds like she has a good plan for handling it. Isn't it amazing how much certain parts of motherhood can just hit a nerve from our past? <br /><br />I don't expect homeschooling to utterly shield kids from every bully out there, but the CHOICE you mentioned makes all the difference. Hopefully, your daughter's memory of this event will eventually be all about how her family rallied behind her and how she handled it with relative ease. :)PinonKnitterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14113895653080351359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-37463989324733760962011-02-22T23:41:18.153-08:002011-02-22T23:41:18.153-08:00My eldest had her very first encounter with bullyi...My eldest had her very first encounter with bullying this evening, or that is to say the first that she was conscious of. Let me just say that she dealt with the situation much better and with more grace than I did upon hearing about it. I'm afraid the years of bullying that I endured and the defense mechanisms that I later developed to ward it off kicked in and I found myself in a full fledged rant giving her some unsound advice. Thankfully my husband, always the voice of reason, was able to talk me down off the metaphorical ledge and we were able to come to a reasonable solution for the future. <br /><br />This happened at a monthly event run by a homeschooling mom and the bullying was perpetrated by a homeschooled teen, so yes, it does still happen with homeschoolers. The nice thing is, if there is anything that could be considered "nice" about having your child both physically and verbally bullied, is that she doesn't HAVE to go back. She has decided that she would like to, but with her father staying present for the next meeting, and if it should happen again then she will decide if she wants to continue to attend the group. But that's the point, it's Her choice.<br /><br />Although this situation is completely about my daughter, it somehow also became completely about myself and old hurts. When I was finally able to calm down and we were able to come up with a supportive and viable plan, something very deeply and tightly held inside of myself released. There is a solution, and that solution is being there for your kid and allowing them to have a choice and the room to make that choice.<br /><br />As I told my daughter, I am very proud of her and how she handled the situation with dignity and grace........ unlike her hillbilly mother!! lol<br /><br />Sorry for the rant, but thanks for listening.Lukirahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01885098662979154019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-12608819832521920092011-02-21T08:28:21.848-08:002011-02-21T08:28:21.848-08:00Your welcome Melissa and you make a really good po...Your welcome Melissa and you make a really good point. Even the best teacher can't monitor all conversation and activity, especially as class size gets bigger and bigger.PinonKnitterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14113895653080351359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-1816495142473190902011-02-21T07:59:23.080-08:002011-02-21T07:59:23.080-08:00When I hear of family members that are dealing wit...When I hear of family members that are dealing with bullies-- including "mean girls" at school, it makes me thankful we homeschool. It is unreasonable to expect that teachers will be able to monitor all interactions in a classroom, and I am thankful that when those situations arise in my own home during playdates, I am able to monitor and if need be, step in to stop hurtful situations. Not only do i not want my children to be physically or verbally assulted by other children, I do not want them to think it is ok for them to participate in hurting others. Thanks for your post!Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05609486175097701858noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-3403226585072593622011-02-18T10:08:43.972-08:002011-02-18T10:08:43.972-08:00I think it's a form of anonymous Stockholm Syn...I think it's a form of anonymous Stockholm Syndrome that bonds so many adults to an amalgam of our oppressors. Saying that the playground bullying made us better people gives the abuse meaning. If our homeschooled children thrive without that trauma, that could mean it was pointless. I homeschool, in part, because I already believe it was pointless.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-91262759459378898392011-02-17T21:11:49.579-08:002011-02-17T21:11:49.579-08:00Phil, what do you mean by the socialization issues...Phil, what do you mean by the socialization issues happening "later in their development"? Just curious...Dr. Levinsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02689846764556507096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-17259399695951033282011-02-16T18:51:39.956-08:002011-02-16T18:51:39.956-08:00Thank you Carol! :)Thank you Carol! :)PinonKnitterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14113895653080351359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-13946906068598399592011-02-16T18:51:19.695-08:002011-02-16T18:51:19.695-08:00Hah -- Good point Jack. There is definitely anoth...Hah -- Good point Jack. There is definitely another side of "socialization" to consider. We're discussing it as thought it were only "socializing" (w/friends, etc.), but there are definitely elements of conformity and "Group Think" that I'm happy to have my kids miss out on.PinonKnitterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14113895653080351359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-54628398113310319952011-02-16T17:36:35.923-08:002011-02-16T17:36:35.923-08:00Although our children are all grown I believe you ...Although our children are all grown I believe you have many good points about home-schooling and I tend to agree with your views. This is a very good and important post.Carol.............https://www.blogger.com/profile/00830052294446316415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-16563569215141576802011-02-16T10:56:48.644-08:002011-02-16T10:56:48.644-08:00I don't think you understand what they mean by...I don't think you understand what they mean by socializatioon. It isn't getting along with other people, it is sacrificing your mind, your ideas, your values to the group.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12113696919293480657noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-88438684728355668092011-02-16T08:41:43.748-08:002011-02-16T08:41:43.748-08:00PinonKnitter - you are SO right!PinonKnitter - you are SO right!nerodiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16860119243029738203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-83001173128648609272011-02-16T08:38:32.211-08:002011-02-16T08:38:32.211-08:00Nerodia -- I read "Hold on to Your Kids"...Nerodia -- I read "Hold on to Your Kids" a few years back too and thought there was a lot of good advice in there. And you're right of course, homeschoolers can be bullies too, but the option to leave a situation makes all the difference is your child is the one being bullied.PinonKnitterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14113895653080351359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-32264697268821234192011-02-16T08:31:59.921-08:002011-02-16T08:31:59.921-08:00I think the book "Hold on to your kids - why ...I think the book "Hold on to your kids - why parents need to matter more than peers" is appropriate to this discussion.<br /><br />My son has only experienced bullying at his karate class, where most of the kids are public schooled. The bullying child is homeschooled, too! Luckily, he is not trapped in this situation all day long and so we can discuss how to deal with it or take a break from class if he feels like it.nerodiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16860119243029738203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-37844524493155727902011-02-16T08:00:55.646-08:002011-02-16T08:00:55.646-08:00Very well said!!!!
LivingJen.comVery well said!!!!<br />LivingJen.comLivingJenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02228559076162923168noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-89779933995585226032011-02-16T07:13:02.516-08:002011-02-16T07:13:02.516-08:00I agree, very well said! It is a concern of mine, ...I agree, very well said! It is a concern of mine, as my kids are in a PS this year, and possibly next year.Elenihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14668499756305200794noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-7340123703216203622011-02-16T05:53:02.907-08:002011-02-16T05:53:02.907-08:00Kids will get bullied almost anytime they are with...Kids will get bullied almost anytime they are with other kids. But we can mitigate the damage and keep the worst of it away homeschooling. People accuse us of overprotecting or sheltering our kids and my answer is "hell yeah", we are.<br />Because kids should be protected and that kind of stuff should not happen. My kids know what the world is like, they are taught about age appropriate things like drugs, sex, cutting, all the social issues of the day, but here they don't have to wallow in it or have it be shoved in their face. Here we can equip and strengthen them to deal when they do get out there on their own someday. Here, unlike in the public schools, we DO have authority to discipline and correct and raise up. And so we sacrifice to do so.Lizziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03469755888487567296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-1925568584395356742011-02-15T22:25:07.889-08:002011-02-15T22:25:07.889-08:00I totally agree with you. I have wanted to ask the...I totally agree with you. I have wanted to ask the people when they ask me "What kind of socialization will they get? How to be afraid? How important to their health and safety to not stand up for themselves or the friends? Where the best places to hide? How to lie bold face to the parents when they ask why they need such and such of amount of money or where they got that bruise from?....." (my child was bullied)The list can go on and on. Thank-you for this post.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-48476150801697438732011-02-15T20:18:16.013-08:002011-02-15T20:18:16.013-08:00That's great to hear Phil!That's great to hear Phil!PinonKnitterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14113895653080351359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-50248605473345421042011-02-15T18:18:42.856-08:002011-02-15T18:18:42.856-08:00As a university recruiter, I've actually encou...As a university recruiter, I've actually encountered that most home-based learners who apply to University are very highly-prepared for entrance into University and do exceptionally well. Sometimes socialisation can be a gap in their later development, and I think some of the points in your article capture this nicely.Phil Ollenberghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11635029332434911032noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-39327348305489879142011-02-15T17:04:41.385-08:002011-02-15T17:04:41.385-08:00Oh that's awful Deamatre. Your kids are so sw...Oh that's awful Deamatre. Your kids are so sweet, friendly and eager to learn, it breaks my heart to think of them having to go through that sort of thing. How cruel kids can be! They're so lucky to have a Mom like you who took care of the situation and gave them options. We're going to miss you when you're off to Germany! Though, I'm so happy you'll all have such a wonderful opportunity!PinonKnitterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14113895653080351359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-34932998507236044182011-02-15T17:00:19.977-08:002011-02-15T17:00:19.977-08:00Holly, I am not sure if you know, but the first ye...Holly, I am not sure if you know, but the first year DD returned to the public schools (3rd grade) the kids made a game of kicking her- like tag. Now, unlike most homeschoolers, DD is certainly socially awkward- but, that has everything to do with her nervous system (Aspergers). In any case, when they played the kicking "game" she liked the attention, but, of course, she had no idea how to diffuse things when they invariably went too far. Luckily, the school did step in and help- but only after we reported it ourselves to the principal. However, later in the year, a boy decided he didn't want her playing in the game he was playing and pushed her down, breaking her wrist! Girls would habitually "pretend" to be her friends, and then snicker at her and attack her. Honestly, it was awful. Neither she nor DS, who is genuinely one of the friendliest and kindest people I know, were able find any true friends in their school. It wasn't until we pulled them out and started homeschooling that their *positive* socialization resumed. Yes, their academics were also suffering. But, I think for our family, socialization has been the key *benefit* of homeschooling! When I look back at their time in public school I don't regret the lack of academics they were receiving, but I feel terribly guilty about the bullying and perverse social dynamics to which they were exposed.Deamatrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12575993045267165927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-23244841238294371572011-02-15T15:39:40.797-08:002011-02-15T15:39:40.797-08:00Maureen - that's such a tragic case. I can...Maureen - that's such a tragic case. I can't imagine how awful it must be for that poor girl. And you're right of course, if these were adults committing the same crimes, this victim would have more recourse. And thanks for the support on my anonymous commenter. I've changed to moderated comments.PinonKnitterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14113895653080351359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-74083842020750032082011-02-15T15:34:13.118-08:002011-02-15T15:34:13.118-08:00Well, I tried to post a response to the anonymous ...Well, I tried to post a response to the anonymous comment, but my daughter just deleted my response and I see that you deleted the comment. Good for you!<br /><br />The thing that makes bullying so much worse is the way schools handle it, or I should say don't handle it. A local girl was beaten into unconsciousness by three older girls, who videotaped the whole incident and posted it on You Tube. The girls were suspended for a while. Now they are back, however, and continually do things like "accidentally" bump into the girl in the hallways.<br /><br />If the girls had been adults, they would have gone to jail for assault. Then, when they got out, years later, if they continued to harass the girl, she could pursue the matter with the police. I don't understand why the fact that these are children in school lessen this girl's rights? In the very least, I think the school should have sent the three girls to three different schools.Maureenskhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09693317239250946604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9090706788381385782.post-42163692154565221822011-02-15T12:54:49.377-08:002011-02-15T12:54:49.377-08:00I never got the idea that it was the lonely, malad...I never got the idea that it was the lonely, maladjusted kid who bullied. In my experience, it was the groups of popular kids who bullied, and the lonely, maladjusted kid who *got* bullied.TaraTheLiberatornoreply@blogger.com